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#1 September 30, 2012 10:40:38 PM

Sausagefanclub
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1001 things you OBVIOUSLY shouldn't do

Let's list some actions that anyone with common sense knows not to do. And I mean these things are so obviously wrong that only an idiot would do them. This was inspired by one of the shorts from All That.

The only rule is to make sure the actions are completely ridiculous. Also make sure to put a number before each entry. You can make as many entries as you want in one post.

I'll kick it off to show how it's done:

1. Don't jump off a cliff.
2. Don't go to the birthday party of a kid you've never met before, take all the presents and spit in his eyes.
3. Don't rip a hole in the fabric of the universe. Only Pinkie Pie can do that.
4. Don't insult Derpy Hooves when bronies are around, especially if one of the bronies watching is Sausagefanclub.
5. Don't try to bring Osama Bin Laden back to life.
6. Don't throw a calculator at your teacher in Math class.
7. Don't eat a Death Cap.


"Now wipe your eyes, blow your nose, and smile before we take off." - Paula Polestar, from EarthBound

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September 30, 2012 10:40:38 PM

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#2 October 1, 2012 7:21:53 PM

SplatKirby
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Re: 1001 things you OBVIOUSLY shouldn't do

8. Don't try to bring anyone back to life.


My browser history and I go way back. B)

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#3 October 1, 2012 7:24:31 PM

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Re: 1001 things you OBVIOUSLY shouldn't do

9. Don't mention that Spitfire doesn't have or hasn't had a cutie mark yet when I'm around.
10. Do not ever make a giant mushroom cloud and then blame it on Pinkie Pie.
11. Don't make topics on forums called "Booger!" (Not to insult Splat or anything.)
12. Don't play piano for the public when you haven't practiced in a month.


"A regular Friday audience, 90 percent feminine and 100 percent well-bred, sat stoically yesterday through thirty minutes of the most cacophonous world premiere ever heard here - the first performance anywhere of a new Violin Concerto by Arnold Schoenberg. Yesterday's piece combines the best sound effects of a hen yard at feeding time, a brisk morning in Chinatown and practice hour at a busy music conservatory. The effect on the vast majority of hearers is that of a lecture on the fourth dimension delivered in Chinese." -An anonymous Philadelphia Record reviewer, on Schoenberg's Op. 36 Violin Concerto.

"I am delighted to add another unplayable work to the repertoire." -Arnold Schoenberg, on his Op. 36 Violin Concerto.

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#4 October 1, 2012 9:58:33 PM

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Re: 1001 things you OBVIOUSLY shouldn't do

13. Don't crash your car into the white house and blame the president.
14. Don't light your mom's hair on fire.
15. Don't break a Pinkie Promise.


"Now wipe your eyes, blow your nose, and smile before we take off." - Paula Polestar, from EarthBound

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#5 October 1, 2012 10:01:52 PM

Axel
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Re: 1001 things you OBVIOUSLY shouldn't do

16. Don't be late for supper.

Got to go. See ya.

17. Don't pick day for a physical when your housekeeper is coming and you should be at school. So many things could go wrong.

Last edited by Rehydration (October 2, 2012 12:31:20 PM)


"A regular Friday audience, 90 percent feminine and 100 percent well-bred, sat stoically yesterday through thirty minutes of the most cacophonous world premiere ever heard here - the first performance anywhere of a new Violin Concerto by Arnold Schoenberg. Yesterday's piece combines the best sound effects of a hen yard at feeding time, a brisk morning in Chinatown and practice hour at a busy music conservatory. The effect on the vast majority of hearers is that of a lecture on the fourth dimension delivered in Chinese." -An anonymous Philadelphia Record reviewer, on Schoenberg's Op. 36 Violin Concerto.

"I am delighted to add another unplayable work to the repertoire." -Arnold Schoenberg, on his Op. 36 Violin Concerto.

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#6 October 2, 2012 8:16:42 PM

SplatKirby
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Re: 1001 things you OBVIOUSLY shouldn't do

Rehydration wrote:

11. Don't make topics on forums called "Booger!"

:lol:
18. Don't eat rocks. (I noticed the similarities between 'Don't Eat Rocks: The Stupid Person's Guide to Life' and this.)


My browser history and I go way back. B)

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#7 October 2, 2012 8:38:10 PM

Axel
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Re: 1001 things you OBVIOUSLY shouldn't do

19. Don't belive ackuma's 'Bad Translator'.


"A regular Friday audience, 90 percent feminine and 100 percent well-bred, sat stoically yesterday through thirty minutes of the most cacophonous world premiere ever heard here - the first performance anywhere of a new Violin Concerto by Arnold Schoenberg. Yesterday's piece combines the best sound effects of a hen yard at feeding time, a brisk morning in Chinatown and practice hour at a busy music conservatory. The effect on the vast majority of hearers is that of a lecture on the fourth dimension delivered in Chinese." -An anonymous Philadelphia Record reviewer, on Schoenberg's Op. 36 Violin Concerto.

"I am delighted to add another unplayable work to the repertoire." -Arnold Schoenberg, on his Op. 36 Violin Concerto.

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#8 October 2, 2012 8:46:22 PM

SplatKirby
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Re: 1001 things you OBVIOUSLY shouldn't do

20.Don't tell jokes that aren't about Chuck Norris when he's around.

Last edited by SplatKirby (October 2, 2012 9:06:21 PM)


My browser history and I go way back. B)

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#9 October 4, 2012 2:57:52 PM

Luna
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Re: 1001 things you OBVIOUSLY shouldn't do

21. Don't walk in tall grass
22. Don't eat ash's Pikachu
23. Don't disobey Luna!!
24. Don't kill purple hippos; They call their friends.
25. Don't die.

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#10 October 4, 2012 6:54:42 PM

SonikuBrony
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Re: 1001 things you OBVIOUSLY shouldn't do

1.Don't ever ever say you're mother stinks.
2.Don't blame Romney and Obama.
3.Don't crash a plane.
4.Don't fight Acreus and Discord at the same time. :|


http://i.imgur.com/EJkTi.png Rarity , wet hair makes you sexy.

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#11 October 4, 2012 7:02:48 PM

SplatKirby
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Re: 1001 things you OBVIOUSLY shouldn't do

30. Don't anger a forum administrator.
31. Don't let Pinkie go all :evil:.


My browser history and I go way back. B)

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#12 October 4, 2012 9:55:26 PM

Sausagefanclub
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Re: 1001 things you OBVIOUSLY shouldn't do

32. Don't yell at a librarian until she goes deaf, then go on a rampage eating the first 5 pages of every book.
33. Don't place a landmine in the subway.
34. Don't break into your own house if you still have the key.
35. Don't kill a brony. They have friends. Lots of friends.


"Now wipe your eyes, blow your nose, and smile before we take off." - Paula Polestar, from EarthBound

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#13 October 17, 2012 9:20:53 PM

Axel
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Re: 1001 things you OBVIOUSLY shouldn't do

36. Don't write a topic you KNOW is going to be rejected.
37. Don't start an endless smiley chain on this forum.
38. Don't eat a gummy worm at the same time as a LifeSaver.
39. Don't let BEN hack into Finale NotePad.
40. Don't call Splat by his real name on this forum.
41. Don't hack into your school's admin account(s).
42. Don't sing any songs that you don't know the tune to.
43. Don't call Meta Knight Sonic the Hedgehog.
44. Don't call Sonic the Hedgehog Meta Knight.
45. Don't re-use a thing that you OBVIOUSLY shouldn't do.
46. Don't make an extensive list of things to do in a month.
47. Don't mention BEN on Cleverbot.
48. Don't EVER name your lawfirm Slenderman and Freepress.
49. Don't suggest that you're someone who you're really not. (e.g.: "Rarity is me." ~Me~)
50. Don't skip numbers like Vegeta does. (e.g.: "1 . . . 2 . . . 3 . . . 5--Blast it all, I messed up!")
51. Don't hit your best friend in his/her glasses with a billiards ball.
52. Don't steal my lucky number.


"A regular Friday audience, 90 percent feminine and 100 percent well-bred, sat stoically yesterday through thirty minutes of the most cacophonous world premiere ever heard here - the first performance anywhere of a new Violin Concerto by Arnold Schoenberg. Yesterday's piece combines the best sound effects of a hen yard at feeding time, a brisk morning in Chinatown and practice hour at a busy music conservatory. The effect on the vast majority of hearers is that of a lecture on the fourth dimension delivered in Chinese." -An anonymous Philadelphia Record reviewer, on Schoenberg's Op. 36 Violin Concerto.

"I am delighted to add another unplayable work to the repertoire." -Arnold Schoenberg, on his Op. 36 Violin Concerto.

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#14 October 20, 2012 10:56:50 PM

Luna
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Re: 1001 things you OBVIOUSLY shouldn't do

53: Don't get gas for your car by feeding it refried beans.

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#15 October 21, 2012 7:33:50 PM

SplatKirby
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Re: 1001 things you OBVIOUSLY shouldn't do

54. Don't put RD in a dress that isn't aerodynamic.


My browser history and I go way back. B)

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#16 October 21, 2012 11:39:17 PM

Sausagefanclub
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Re: 1001 things you OBVIOUSLY shouldn't do

55. Don't punch an Ursa Major. It probably doesn't hurt it that much, but it's still irritating.
56. Don't throw little Timmy down the old well again. He's already wasted enough of his life climbing out.
57. Don't lie to Applejack.
58. Don't put your hand hoof in the blender and make a smoothie. It tastes terrible.
59. Don't try to separate Dr. Whooves and Derpy Hooves from each other.
60. Don't make a TV show with overused phrases, fart jokes and characters getting hurt every other minute. *cough*johnnytest*cough*
61. Don't cut someone's HD tv in half with a plastic knife. A sword is much more effective.
62. Don't expose Luna (the user, not the alicorn) to viral videos. He'll never stop making references.
63. Don't go back in time and lock your past self in a closet.
64. Don't go forward in time and lock your future self in a closet.
65. Don't go to the present time and lock your current self in a closet.
66. Don't ignore Rarity's generosity. She'll do anything to repay a favor. And I mean ANYTHING. Her kindness will kill you. Muhahahahaha...


"Now wipe your eyes, blow your nose, and smile before we take off." - Paula Polestar, from EarthBound

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#17 October 23, 2012 7:59:05 PM

SplatKirby
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Re: 1001 things you OBVIOUSLY shouldn't do

67. Don't try to be rich by fighting--if the risk is that you could be trapped in another dimension. Forever. (Reference to Kamen Rider: Dragon Knight.)
68. Don't describe Kamen Rider Wing Knight as Batman and Spiderman rolled into one. (Further reference.)
69. Don't 'train' someone by kicking them all over the place. (Guess what? :razz:)


My browser history and I go way back. B)

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#18 October 23, 2012 8:18:10 PM

Axel
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Re: 1001 things you OBVIOUSLY shouldn't do

70. Don't start a sentence with "but". People will giggle all over the place.
71. Don't ruin your reputation in front of people you've never met.
72. Don't do anything on this list.
73. Never attempt to bake a cake without a recipe.
74. Don't misspell words when making a PSSA test.
75. Don't make a grammatical error when making a PSSA test.
76. Don't mention Percy Jackson around KQ. (She gets all "Jack"ed up--talking about Percy Jackson is her coffee.)
77. Don't do your worst in a subject you're known for being good at.
78. Don't scare me. I'm gullible to anything. :P
79. Don't make an extensive list of things to do in under 10 minutes.

Last edited by Rehydration (October 23, 2012 8:18:39 PM)


"A regular Friday audience, 90 percent feminine and 100 percent well-bred, sat stoically yesterday through thirty minutes of the most cacophonous world premiere ever heard here - the first performance anywhere of a new Violin Concerto by Arnold Schoenberg. Yesterday's piece combines the best sound effects of a hen yard at feeding time, a brisk morning in Chinatown and practice hour at a busy music conservatory. The effect on the vast majority of hearers is that of a lecture on the fourth dimension delivered in Chinese." -An anonymous Philadelphia Record reviewer, on Schoenberg's Op. 36 Violin Concerto.

"I am delighted to add another unplayable work to the repertoire." -Arnold Schoenberg, on his Op. 36 Violin Concerto.

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#19 October 23, 2012 8:30:54 PM

SplatKirby
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Re: 1001 things you OBVIOUSLY shouldn't do

80. Don't do math on weekends.
81. Try not to make too many grammatical errors around me.
82. Don't mention diets around RH. "Diet police, go!"
83. Don't make me break out my Power Rangers references on you.
84. Don't say I don't love Power Rangers.
85. Don't poke fun at the blue ranger.
86. Or the black ranger.
87. Or the white one.
88. Or the green one.
89. Don't poke fun at Tokusatsu.
90. Don't type 'malinator.com' instead of 'mailinator.com' to end an email address.
91. Don't be Jeff the Killer.
92. Or Slenderman.
93. Or BEN.
94. Or Happy Appy.
95. Don't not listen to Dreams by Van Halen if you're a Power Rangers nut looking for some nostalgia.
96. Don't read Jeff the Killer at 6:00 at night and remember it at 10:00 at night.
97. Try not to have nightmares about your friend being an invincible mass murderer.
98. Don't make fun of the Batman.
99. Don't make Rarity whine.
100. Don't dance around screaming, "ONE HUNDRED! :D:D!!"


My browser history and I go way back. B)

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#20 October 23, 2012 10:53:34 PM

Axel
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Re: 1001 things you OBVIOUSLY shouldn't do

101. Don't run around at recess (if you have it or something related) screaming "RUN TO THE HILLS!"
102. Don't make jokes about someone who's right next to you.
103. Don't say anything before you know what the heck you're saying and what it means.
104. Don't show anyone the Microsoft Access Databases you make for fun.
105. Don't hack into your school's computer system and shut down the printers.


"A regular Friday audience, 90 percent feminine and 100 percent well-bred, sat stoically yesterday through thirty minutes of the most cacophonous world premiere ever heard here - the first performance anywhere of a new Violin Concerto by Arnold Schoenberg. Yesterday's piece combines the best sound effects of a hen yard at feeding time, a brisk morning in Chinatown and practice hour at a busy music conservatory. The effect on the vast majority of hearers is that of a lecture on the fourth dimension delivered in Chinese." -An anonymous Philadelphia Record reviewer, on Schoenberg's Op. 36 Violin Concerto.

"I am delighted to add another unplayable work to the repertoire." -Arnold Schoenberg, on his Op. 36 Violin Concerto.

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#21 October 24, 2012 7:27:42 PM

Pencilbrony
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Re: 1001 things you OBVIOUSLY shouldn't do

106. Don't hug the creeper
107. Don't criticise me
108. Don't be a barrel.
109. Don't hate Pewds and Marzia


I iz teh PencilBRONY ;)
Rarity is a portal! Just click her head to get teleported to somewhere special!
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jZUglnHLISA/Te2m-8hcI6I/AAAAAAAAFkU/MzGxbfk57Do/s400/artist_training_grounds_day_10_by_1nfy-d3i4toc.png

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#22 October 25, 2012 12:26:11 PM

Mokat
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Re: 1001 things you OBVIOUSLY shouldn't do

110. Don't tell anypony that you like MLP-FiM (except maybe a few close friends)
111. Don't annoy the Scratch Team.
112. Don't listen to Lavender Town music.


http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr02/2013/8/2/1/anigif_enhanced-buzz-17490-1375420413-34.gif

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#23 October 25, 2012 1:48:43 PM

Sausagefanclub
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Re: 1001 things you OBVIOUSLY shouldn't do

113. Don't eat broken glass.


"Now wipe your eyes, blow your nose, and smile before we take off." - Paula Polestar, from EarthBound

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#24 October 25, 2012 2:57:08 PM

Luna
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Re: 1001 things you OBVIOUSLY shouldn't do

114: Don`t bleed across the land

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#25 October 26, 2012 12:13:54 AM

Sausagefanclub
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Re: 1001 things you OBVIOUSLY shouldn't do

115. Don't tickle people's knees without their permission.
116. Don't spray yourself with mace.
117. Don't make references to Matt Bennett's Broken Glass song if nobody here has ever heard it before.


"Now wipe your eyes, blow your nose, and smile before we take off." - Paula Polestar, from EarthBound

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